CHEERAZ GORMAN with KEVIN MCCOY + CHRIS KALLMYER

“As a kid I grew up on Harris, across the street from O’Fallon park. Sometimes I’ll just drive by. I remember when I was a was hard-headed, and I fell, my mom told me not to play around, I remember running across the street to the park. There is something nostalgic about seeing, still seeing, the place that we grew up. I don’t know what I would think if that was gone. I don’t know how I would be able to cope with that. It’s still comforting to just walk by. I remember so many memories there. I forgot to close the door and the cat ran out and got hit. It’s bad, but I remember all these little interactions, you know?” – Kevin McCoy

CG
Well I have an interesting relationship with brick in the city. My aunt was the first woman journeyman here in St Louis. She was the first woman bricklayer. So my relationship with brick has been . . . Her name is Elizabeth Robinson. She assisted with building a lot of the buildings downtown in the eighties like the Channel 5 building. She used to take me on site with her, and I didn’t realize the importance of that until I got older. Not only was she the only woman, but she was often the only black person on the site as well. And I am there with her, just being a kid. At the same time that pretty much told me that I could exist and be whatever I want to be, and I don’t need somebody’s permission.

Some of you are familiar with the TEDx talk that I did called Moon of my Memories, which is all about the brick thieves. At that time, I was in and out of St. Louis. When I was here, I was just pulling everything in, cause I had been gone from St. Louis for eleven and a half years. Whenever I would come back home, it would be pretty brief, but I would notice things.

I grew up in north St. Louis. I grew up in an area called College Hill, one of the most impoverished zip codes in the city, 63106. I tell people, “that neighborhood was beautiful when I was growing up.” It’s painful for me to go back to my old neighborhood because all of us, all the families that are there, we still own our homes. You know, everything.

But what got me is when my grandfather’s old house on Montgomery was stolen. They ran into the back of it. That’s how they do it, they rammed the back of the house, the side of the house, and then the house starts to fall, and then they illegally take it down. I was already writing the poem, Moon of my Memories, but that moment came to mind. Me and Damon drove down Montgomery and I was like, “Wait a minute, where is my grandfather’s house?” That was the moment. That was like the crescendo moment for me.

I started to think about what does that mean to me as an individual and my identity when you are erasing all of my memories? My history is now being erased from the city, and it’s directly tied to the brick. It’s directly tied to the poems. So I have a really interesting relationship with brick, how I feel about it, how I feel about the homes in this city, because I am from that neighborhood. The JVL (JeffVanderLou) neighborhood is pretty much is gone. It looks like a field. I remember that neighborhood, the big mansions, everything is just like, “Oh my god. What’s going on?” Why am I coming back to the city? I kind of feel like the city is telling me that I’m not shit because it’s erasing everything that has mattered to me. Friends’ homes, churches, everything just being demolished and taken away.

KM
So it feels foreign now when you see it.

CG
Because there are so many changes in the city that I don’t remember the city being like. The racial divide here is so clear now. It wasn’t like that when I was a kid. When I was growing up in the eighties…it did not feel like this…No!…it wasn’t like that in the nineties either. Then when I went away to school I remember St. Louis being a lot more together then what it is now. So it’s hard for me to move back here. It’s still hard.

My Aunt got discouraged because its hard to go on job after job where you are the only. There’s a lot of pressure that comes with being the only. I watched my aunt fight the good fight, but she just turned inward. She left being a journeyman. To this day, that woman, in her house will cut stained glass. She’s one of the most amazing artists that I know. But she just had to…she had to pull away. She is definitely down for teaching people. The kids that are growing up now in our family…you know how to mix concrete and how to repair stairs because we own our homes. When you own your home you take care of your home. And regardless of what people think about the neighborhood, when they see her out on the front porch, or walking around the house-because she is always doing something.

CK
What neighborhood is she in?

CG
College Hill. That area has taken a lot of hits. I tell people I remember when crack cocaine came to the neighborhood. I remember It. Because it went from being safe to gunshots. It wasn’t “come home because the street lights are on,” it was “come home because they’re shooting.”

That was in the late eighties, early nineties. Our family is still there. I have what they call a “ride or die” family. We are not leaving. We are not moving. My grandmother bought that house in cash in the sixties when it was primarily a Polish and Irish neighborhood, and the house got egged and all sorts of crazy stuff. We’re not leaving. My grandmother worked too hard to have that home, and we’re not giving up our house regardless of what happens in the neighborhood, or what happens around.

The violence is really rampant, but when you have opportunity deserts, not only food deserts, but when the neighborhood becomes an opportunity desert like it is today… our neighborhood used to be self-sustaining. We had doctors, lawyers, dentists, corner store, you name it. You did not have to leave that neighborhood. From Grand & West Florissant all the way to Warne & West Florissant. You didn’t have to leave, because it was self-contained. And we have got two beautiful-ass parks. We had O’fallon and Fairground. It was awesome. I went to elementary school across the street from my house so I could never get in trouble. And we got in trouble we had to answer not only to the principal, Mr. McGowan, but, nine times out of ten times, my godmother who’s a non-denominational pastor next door. Ms. Jessie would catch me before mom came home, and we all know how that goes. You’d get it at school because corporal punishment was still available. You’d get a whipping at school. Godmother would probably spank you, then when you got home…

So, we’re just not, we’re not leaving. I have the same type of family in Detroit too – ride or die – not leaving. Nope. We own our homes. We love our city. Not going anywhere.

COMMONFIELD CLAY WORKSHOP INTERVIEWS
I. The Land & The Brick
II. The Theft of The Brick
III. The People & The Brick